My Social Life, or Lack Thereof

   I was always socially awkward, and many people took advantage of that. I normally try to cover it with sarcasm or jokes that many take offense to. The reason I do this is because I have noticed from observing people, sarcasm is highly prevalent in conversations among average people. Although I have noticed that it is more damaging than helpful.

   One such example was this week, when I bumped into two acquaintances at school. One of them asked which course I was taking. I told her that I was taking core math. She asked if I was late to class, to which I responded that I just got out. I was then informed that she was late to class. Then I said the joke that was the equivalent of strike one at a baseball game, I jokingly said that I thought that she was an "OCD freak", which was my term of endearment to describe someone who was very meticulous. I did explain that it was a joke. I then took notice of the other acquaintance's makeup. I pulled the nerve together to ask why she was wearing so much makeup. Her response was that she was not wearing a lot of makeup, but that she had tanned. With all the health problems that suntanning brings I assume that anyone can figure out what my response was. If you assumed that I jokingly asked if she wanted to age quickly and get skin cancer, then you are absolutely correct. The second acquaintance then told the first acquaintance what I said. I then said that I had to go and the first acquaintance was headed my way. I said that it was nice talking to her (even though that was the furthest from the truth that I could go) and asked her which class she was taking. Her response was that the feeling was mutual. She then gave me social advice as in not to call people OCD freaks and not to make jokes about skin cancer. I then told her that I admired how meticulous she was, which was true. What someone can say about me is that I stumble over every single sentence if I get beyond my comfort zone, which is true.

   Although what one can see from my retelling of the conversation is that I am socially awkward, yet I desire a social life, I do not think that the second part of the statement is true. I have been told by my father, and countless other people that I need to learn how to make friends. When I am told this hackneyed statement, a few responses come to mind. One of them is that my social life is none of their business. Another response is to stop trying to take a cheap shot at my self-esteem, which would be mostly for my father since we have a complicated love/hate relationship (although, I do not really believe in love, I do believe in mutually beneficial relationships). And then, to sum it all up my final argument would be that a social life is overrated,  especially if you are different and have to make new friends and you always have the feeling that you do not fit in and will eventually be used and/or dumped.

    I do not mind reading all day. When I make friends in school I tend to keep them at a distance. I do not spend time with them on weekends and I do not tell them too much about my personal life. My main purpose for these friends is to have people to ask if I ever need any help, or if I have a feeling that I could use some advice when it comes to the class. I started college in Fall of 2010, and I soon came to realize that I was the laughingstock. Most people kept clear of me, although I did find two people with whom I acquainted myself with. I did not really care about a social life then, because I decided to focus on my school work. I did eat lunch with people, but I did not establish an emotional connection with them. I simply sat with them so I could talk about my favorite show, South Park, maybe even study together for the Classical Cultures quiz, since we had the same instructor.

  The reason I find a social life to be overrated is because, unless I find the right people for my personality type it will never happen. I do have acquaintances and one friend who I keep in touch with, but I am not the type of person who likes to go shopping with friends, going to the movies, etc every single weekend with a friends, or friends. I find these things annoying, because if you do them with the wrong person  they can be annoying, especially shopping. When I was younger the only reason that I used to wish that I had an active social life, was because I was taught that it was good to have friends, my sister was also a social butterfly, and I was bored every Friday night and Saturday because I could not watch TV because of the Jewish Sabbath. Every time I thought that I had a group of friends in my neighborhood, they managed to either demean me, or use me in some way. Let's just say that these "friendships" never worked out. I also find small talk to be very boring and tedious.

   On weekdays I do not care that my social life is lacking, as long as I have some way to entertain myself. I tend to hang out in the same places a lot, which does not bother me. However, what does bother me is when I go to a place so often that when I order a drink they remember my usual order, and what name to write on the cup of my drink. I guess that I like to keep myself at a distance. I am naive, and therefore I have to keep my guard up.

  I am not  like that with everybody. I do occasionally become somewhat friendly with a person, just that I do not trust him/her right away. I will not count Facebook as a social life, so therefore I virtually have no social life, and guess what? I am perfectly fine with it.